Everyone must admit this in some capacity, but in many ways, I am an underachiever.  I feel the effects of being an underachiever very acutely because I consistently try to do more than the rest of my brain and body can handle.  Is my French perfect?  Is my Korean perfect?  Do I write every day?  Do I practice yoga regularly?  Do I actually take out my DSLR around Seoul?  Do I update this blog?  Do I call my family enough?  Do I cook every day like I want to?  Am I reading enough good books?  Am I helping people enough?  Am I taking advantage of all the good fortune life has thrown my way?  The answer to all of these questions is No.  And that makes me feel gutted.   A friend of mine is a superachiever, and he told me once that I’m doing too many things.  Mostly, I’m too socially active.  Be more discriminate, he advised.  Over tea in Insadong, he said to me,  “Every time we come into contact with mediocrity, we are left the worse for it.” I remember this conversation not only because I remember most conversations I have with this friend, but because I am terrified of that state.  A old boyfriend of mine also had a saying about the M word: Never settle for mediocrity.  Unless you’re a straight-up genius, It’s hard to be great at one thing if your hands are reaching into so many baskets.  I agree that my curiosity and interest range far too widely than is advisable.  If I were to join a self-help group, my introduction would be something like, My name is Lilian, and I am a dilettante.  But the thing is, I think I am a dilettante in the best sense of the word, if there is one.  Many people are so obsessed with finding their niche that they spend years and years specializing in one area and often end up with a myopic view of the world.  I respect such people in one way (because they have attained master status in their respective fields) but also feel sorry for them in another way (because many times these same people feel bored and cornered and are desperate to try something else).  Life is a series of small pendulums that I’m always trying to keep in motion.  At this point, what I have to remember is, a new pendulum must only be added if another one can be removed.
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Everyone must admit this in some capacity, but in many ways, I am an underachiever.  I feel the effects of being an underachiever very acutely because I consistently try to do more than the rest of my brain and body can handle.  Is my French perfect?  Is my Korean perfect?  Do I write every day?  Do I practice yoga regularly?  Do I actually take out my DSLR around Seoul?  Do I update this blog?  Do I call my family enough?  Do I cook every day like I want to?  Am I reading enough good books?  Am I helping people enough?  Am I taking advantage of all the good fortune life has thrown my way? 

The answer to all of these questions is No.  And that makes me feel gutted.  

A friend of mine is a superachiever, and he told me once that I’m doing too many things.  Mostly, I’m too socially active.  Be more discriminate, he advised.  Over tea in Insadong, he said to me,  “Every time we come into contact with mediocrity, we are left the worse for it.”

I remember this conversation not only because I remember most conversations I have with this friend, but because I am terrified of that state.  A old boyfriend of mine also had a saying about the M word: Never settle for mediocrity. 

Unless you’re a straight-up genius, It’s hard to be great at one thing if your hands are reaching into so many baskets.  I agree that my curiosity and interest range far too widely than is advisable.  If I were to join a self-help group, my introduction would be something like, My name is Lilian, and I am a dilettante. 

But the thing is, I think I am a dilettante in the best sense of the word, if there is one.  Many people are so obsessed with finding their niche that they spend years and years specializing in one area and often end up with a myopic view of the world.  I respect such people in one way (because they have attained master status in their respective fields) but also feel sorry for them in another way (because many times these same people feel bored and cornered and are desperate to try something else). 

Life is a series of small pendulums that I’m always trying to keep in motion.  At this point, what I have to remember is, a new pendulum must only be added if another one can be removed.

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  1. lilianlee posted this